DIET – 2 BMs in the morning today. Nothing special
| Item | Calories |
| – Coffee – 9g Sugar / 50 ml Milk | 66 |
| – 73 g bran cereal | 200.75 |
| – 100 g homo milk | 64 |
| – Tea – 5g Sugar / 10 g cream | 40 |
| – Bite of Bread – 40 calories | 40 |
| – 3 gummy worms – 44 cals | 44 |
| Evening/ post workout | |
| – 1 cup brown rice (next time do 2/3) | 684 |
| – 3 chicken thighs (look at yesterday’s weight) | 800 |
| – 106 g spring mix | 25 |
| – 30 g pecans | 207 |
| – 1 tbsp oo | 100 |
| – 1 square dark chocolate | 60 |
| – 1 cheesecake – 160 cals | 160 |
| – 1 cookie – 250 calories | 250 |
| – Tea – 6 sugar / 16g cream | 41 |
| Total Calories | 2781.75 |
Holy shit this was the first time I ever measured how many calories were in salad greens – fucking nothing! even a big salad! That means when I gave up carbs, I was only eating like 1/2 cup oat cabrs a day. No wonder why I was getting constipated.
GYM
BACK – Resistance Fitness
Barbell Rows 75 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 – getting stronger!!!
DB Rows – 45 x 7 x 7 x 7 x 7
Iso Lateral Row Machine – 47.5 lb x 10 x 12 / 55 x 8 x 10
Row Machine – 60 lb x 8 x 8 x 8
Still feeling ache left testicle, pressure during lift session too – not necessarily when I actually lost, but during gym sesh it feels internal pressure there. Later on in the evening after that proper dinner, while chilling at home all ball aches and tummy aches went away.
Barbell Curls – 30 lb x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10
Db Sunshine Curls – 12.5 lb x 3 x 3 x 3 x 3
Cable Hammer Curls – 40 lb x 10 x 8 x 8 x 8
Getting stronger and stronger now. Keep it trucking
Work
Did much better at work today with keeping thoughts and anxieties at bay. Got quite a bit done. Still have to develop more discipline to keep tracking time. Tracking diet is on point now and discipline is on 10, now I just need to apply the same thing to time.
Books
Organized Mind – Externalize your memory using tools like writing and phones. Mentions the card method. Can try this out, but what we’re doing now works. Easy and simpler is always better.
Peak Mind – Mentions recording memories. Whiteboard and Active RAM and attention is needed to create memories. You can’t multi task and effectively keep memories, since you’re doing two things at once (think recording phones).
Distractions of the mind are often caused by things from long term memories -> projecting into the future, past, present, worries anticipation, mental timewalking.
3 things are needed for remembering – Rehearsal, Ellaboration, Connection? Fuck I don’t remember the third thing. But rehearsel, make connections to the memory by connecting it to other shit, and continue building on it.
Summary
Saw Dr. KP today, did the DRE. Found no Hemmorhoids. Given that, he wants to do a colonoscopy just to be 100% sure. Says that its super highly unlikely I have cancer (<1% is what he said), but he just wants to check to be 100%. Also to check for polyps – neutral and bad polyps. Funny thing to note, he mentioned that the GI doc could just say fuck off and give me no colonoscopy lol. Said the bleeding could have been from many different things – hemmorhoids that cleared up, anal fissure, etc.
Gym session was really good, and work session was solid today. Had a huge dinner which was sick. Feels good man.
Will I let my limits and my weaknesses control my life? Will I yield to all this anxiety and limitations that I set on myself? Am I really that much of a weakling and a coward???? Waiting for the perfect moment where anxiety will subside and I will succeed? Does that even exist? Waiting means that I’m yielding and not grabbing life by the horns. I’m being guided rather than guiding. Lead rather than leading. Not taking control.
From here on out, I will take control of my life. It will follow my decisions, and my mindset. My anxieties will have to live with me, rather than the other way around. Fuck you. I’m living. I’m not letting any limits or any thoughts, worries or anxieties dictate my quality of life or what I will do. You will follow me. You are under my control. No ifs or buts. No nothings. This is my life. My time. Mine.