Eeeeehh. Been tough last couple of months. Decided to drown myself in SC2 and not think about anything… wanted to have a solid couple of weeks of just SC2 straight and to just run away…
This is weakness! One of the reasons i’m addicted to sc2 is because of the false sense of accomplishment it gives me…. make it out of gold… make it into platinum… make it into diamond!
WTF? i’m not improving at anything valuable. Maybe improving at improving? Identifying how to take losing and get better? yeah sure… but what the fuck, such a waste of time!
Anywho, I’ll bypass the SC2 buffet. Gotta rewire the brain. Gotta get back into the mode of loving to learn. It’s hard, but no worries I’ll be back to SC2 (gotta have fun sometime, amiright?)
Goals moving forward is to have a framework and mindset in place such that when shit hits the fan once again, nothing will rock me. I was doing pretty well beforehand… learning… ambitious… moving forward… skin was nice! but yeah. got rocked. Don’t only blame it on the shitstorm, also realize that a big part of this was just being a runt.