DIET
| ITEM | CALORIES |
| 10g sugar | 40 |
| 15g cream | 15 |
| 85g raisin bran | 267 |
| 88 g milk | 32 |
| 17g cc | 35 |
| 1 bagel | 250 |
| mom’s tea – 10 g cream? | 10 |
| 120g cranberry crunch | 460 |
| 130g milk | 55 |
| 1 piece dark chocolate | 60 |
| 6 g sugar | 23 |
| 15 g cream | 15 |
| 1 cheesecake | 160 |
| 45g pecans | 311 |
| 1 scoop whey | 150 |
| 2 junior chickens | 760 |
| 1 small fries | 230 |
GYM
Barbell Benchpress – 125 x 5 x 3
Barbell Squat – 105 x 5 x 5
Feeling the ache at the back part of my right and left leg, like a ligament/muscle strain. Also radiates to balls. Could this be the cause of the ache / pressure feeling!?
Summary
Aaah. Tough day. Don’t even want to write about it. Some things were said that weren’t very nice. I know it was said in the heat of the moment, nonetheless it gave me a new perspective of things. Always alone. Forever alone. You’re the only one you can count on. Can you really, truly count on others for anything? There’s no such thing as a fucking safety net. The only safety net you can have is yourself. Harsh, but I feel like it’s kinda true. I don’t know. Right now isn’t the time to mull on it. This is a new skill I have too! – Mindfulness. I see right now that my thoughts and decisions on the matter are clouded with anger and resentment. Everytime I think about the situation and fantasize about what I’m going to do, I realize that the thoughts are cruel, and aren’t necessarily what I truly feel, but rather feelings that are from the anger and rage, that are actually fueled by my thoughts.
So on the drive over to rice I’ve just been watching this lump of coal that’s in my stomach, and ignoring all thoughts that would feed it. Just being mindful of the feeling and moving on. Trying to extract positive lessons from the situation, but as far as rage and everything else, not even going to feed it.
In the end, you’re the architect of your worldview and how you strucutre how you look at things. Your belief and ideas make your life. Make ideas, concepts and philosophies that are strong and have the utmost potential for happiness and growth, because in the end there is no truth, only what you believe.
Work
Work was pretty productive today given I was feeling kinda shook. No music either, which is also a good thing.